Relief

First of all a big THANKS Lauri and Kelly – your support, thoughts, and prayers are awesome!

I got the results of my second beta back- drum roll please………………. 712!

So we went from 278 on Monday to 712 on Wednesday – more than doubled in 48 hours- Praise the Lord!

I had them order a progesterone test as well, just to ease my worried mind that I might have a possible luteal phase defect, and it was a good 35.3.

Feeling much better- closer to God in fact, I’ve been praying a lot and using specific prayers I’ve pulled off of the demi-god Google that have really helped me relax. Feel so much better having a set, poetic, focused prayer rather than just my cries for help, why me’s, and ramblings.

DH was super sweet this morning- it’s a shame one has to be newly pregnant to get him in a much better mood in the morning. He has horrible allergies and is always (and I mean always, as in each and every day) heavily congested in the a.m. As you can see in the image below- this is why, his ethmoid sinuses are nearly completely congested!

Trouble Breathing?  Such a handsome lad!

So now I’m off to write a paper- my goal is to have my my 1st draft to my teacher on Monday… now that I have this under my belt I feel so much better, and hopefully I can concentrate, focus, and put out some great work!

Thanks for visiting- our next step is to have another beta next Wednesday, and then our first ultrasound on 7/6! Can’t wait to see that little heart beat… well at least I think by then it should be there by then… and I hope it is there! Not out of the woods yet, but at least these woods seem quite friendlier than the scary, unforgiving woods of a miscarriage.

Love to all!

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Work Day Blues

Hello reader,

Today is a sad day here at work. My office neighbor had her last day today, her contract was not renewed. So today we had a lunch and pulled together some money for a gift card. There are 8 (well 7 now) people who work in my office…. 4 came to the lunch.

I like to live in my own naive world where everyone is good natures, and does nice things, the right things, when they should. Today after I put my message in the card and took it to the other faculty members, she said she wasn’t going to be contributing to the gift. I was so shocked, I didn’t have time to process it and put my confused why you being such a bitch look on my face, so I just said, “Oh! Ok, perhaps you should check with the secretary about signing the card then.”

This afternoon I just feel sick… there were two faculty members who did not sign the card, participate in the lunch, put together some cash to go towards the gift card, or even say goodbye. I can see why our supervisor wouldn’t attend or sign a card, but come on- these other two ladies didn’t have anything to do with supervising my lost neighbor. We are a small department, and this act was just cold, callus, and unbecoming. They just turned their back and clearly drew the line in the sand between the department.

I still want to ‘like’ these ladies- one is even a fellow IFer who I just recently started talking to about our IF struggles… man, what a wake up call- well not really, but it just sucks when people don’t do what is right and you can’t look at them in the same light.

So that’s my sad Monday story. It sucks. I want a new job…

… and now I just got a text from my former neighbor- one lady wrote and email, and one caught her in the hall today. Doesn’t make it right, but at least I get to partially re-enter my dream land of rainbows and butterflies, Aangels and marshmallows where everyone is truly good on the inside.

6 more days until I get to test if I still wish… don’t know, don’t feel any different, wish it was next week already!

Hope your Monday is better than this…

-SeekingShirley