Double Whammy

Hello-

Hope everyone had a good weekend. We got my sister married and it went off without a hitch. Her wedding dress was absolutely beautiful, and she made it herself! So proud of her, and so happy to have a new brother-in-law.

On Saturday I went to Walmart to get some groceries, and experienced what every IFfer wants to hear after dealing with another BFN- “Oh yous pregnant, aren’t ya!?” from what I’m pretty sure was an illiterate woman. I politely said no, and preceded to help her find her size twelve underwear and tell her the prices of various other underwear sets. This set me off into a $100 shopping spree for new socks, sports bras, and workout pants as part of my new plan to lose weight so hopefully the next time it’s rudely pointed out that I have a gut it will be because I am indeed pregnant.

So much for our March budget!

I took today off and played hooky- I need to call the fertility clinic and find a therapist, but I didn’t want to make all those phone calls in an office with paper thin walls. However, this morning I got a call from my good friend for a lunch date…

Can you guess what she wanted to tell me? That’s right-she’s pregnant! Due November 1 (or something like that). I’m am truly happy for her, but I want to vent right now. She went on to say the things we don’t want to hear- like that she would give her baby to me, that she just knows that I will make a great mom and will have my time one of these days, and that our late friend (who passed away from melanoma last year) was blessing people right and left with babies… all except me.

After lunch, I drove home- cried a bit, and checked facebook- another friend is expecting now too.

So within a span of 2 hours I found out that not 1, not 2, not even 3 people are pregnant- 4. Four pregnancies that are not mine.

I am so pissed right now. Hurt, sad, angry, hopeless… ughh- I am so happy I took today off, couldn’t go back to work like this. Not now.

However, I do have work to do so I have to sign off. Hope your Monday is a little brighter than mine- it’s appropriately gray and rainy outside. Got to stay possitive, I have a lot of work to do- can’t make excusses and can’t let this off-cycle be a waste.

-SeekingShirley

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1 Comment

Filed under Infertility

One response to “Double Whammy

  1. Ugh, I’m sorry about the rash of pregnancies you’ve had to face. Of course it’s good news, but I certainly know what that’s like. It’s weird, I get upset at ones that I wouldn’t think I would, but it can be discouraging nonetheless.

    And I’ve had a few of those BFN shopping sprees myself-the good news is, at least you were in WalMart. Mine always seem to hit when I’m in Nordstrom’s.

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