Random Thoughts by Me!

  • I am not scared that my biological clock is ticking and about to expire… I’m more scared that the world will end in 2012 and I won’t have a child by then. Funny thing is I don’t believe anyone knows when the world will end, I just hope it’s not 2012!
  • Perhaps God is holding out on us because I haven’t completed my research paper for my Master’s degree.
  • Maybe He is waiting for DH to seek help for his alcoholism.
  • That makes me wonder if my miscarriage last fall was a little wake up call from the Big G to get our shit in gear… all three statements are ludicrous, but hmmm- ttc for nearly three years, working on degree for three years, and DH has been off the wagon for- you got  it, three years!
  • We’re going to have a conversation about foster parenting to adopt this afternoon- I think I’m at my ropes end, my house, arms, and life are just too empty. I have a lot of love to give to a child(children) in need, and I think I can take the devastation if/when they are returned to their family. At least I would have had a time, a special time, and a connection with someone in need of love and care.
  • I’m making a bracelet for the IF communities “Common Thread”, and my biggest question is what type of braid/knot I want to make. Even more, what kind of braid or knot I want to use for my friends/family going through IF. It’s harder now then it was when I was 12!


Filed under Alcoholism, Grad School, Infertility, Miscarriage

5 responses to “Random Thoughts by Me!

  1. Hi Shirley-

    Thanks for stopping by my blog! My fertility clock’s alarm has gone off, rang for about six years; I ignored it, so now even the alarm is broken. But I have faith that I can maybe make this baby thing happen.

    I too wonder what God has been waiting for, I just try to remind myself that no matter what, I’ll be ok. This works in keeping me focused about 75 percent of the time. The other 25 percent I spend sad, mad, and jealous. This infertility stuff is definitely not for sissies.

    I look forward to reading more on your blogs! All my best to you.

    • Thanks Kelly- My faith-o-meter gets a little low after each BFN, but it will never reach empty. Got to remember that if He brings you to it, He’ll bring you through it!

      Have a good one!

  2. Hi, I’m stopping by for ICLW. I wonder a lot what exactly God is telling me. Haven’t figured it out yet! I’ll be really mad if the world ends before I get my baby too!

  3. i also have this irrational fear that the 2012 apocolypse will come and i will never have experienced parenthood. i’ve never even told anyone that, it’s so ridiculous. so glad someone else has the same crazy thought 🙂

    • Oh no- you are soooo not alone! I just have this vision in my mind that me and a bunch of family/friends are all huddled together as the world is ending. But all my cousins, friends, and in-laws are holding onto their children while I’m just sitting there looking around and thinking “Well, shit… FML!”

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