Fears and Tears – The 2 Week Wait

Hello Friends-

I’ve taken a bit of hiatus, but couldn’t quite let this go. On Monday, February 7, 2011 we had our first Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) procedure. Now we are to wait 14-15 days to take a pregnancy test. It’s up to God and nature to make the sperm and egg meet, like each other, do a little dance and create a baby. It’s also up to God and nature to make the {hopefully} fertilized egg implant into my uterus.

This week has been full of irrational fears and lots of tears. I’m so afraid that any type of strenuous work will totally wreck the required steps mentioned above.  On Tuesday I was standing while watching a bit of TV and did a small squat-like motion to just limber up or move, I guess, and I was instantly struck with fear FEAR! Immediately I laid down on our couch and went through every possible negative scenario- which really there are only two- We won’t get pregnant, or we will achieve a pregnancy, but I will suffer another miscarriage.

I don’t know which one scares me more…

On some weekends I work a night sift at our hospital- it generally doesn’t bother me to much, I just get to sleep through the next day and I’m back at it (which is incredibly easy when you don’t have children- my only childless bonus). They needed some coverage this weekend, and I became so irrationally fearful that I informed my supervisors of our treatment and asked if they could get covered from someone else. Thankfully, they were very supportive and worked with me to allow me to rest this weekend. I know it’s irrational- scientifically unfounded- that working a night shift will prevent pregnancy or cause disastrous chromosomal effects that would render a pregnancy inviable, but that is what kept me on our couch Tuesday night, paralyzed with fear.

Yesterday I had my first acupuncture treatment to help with the stress and anxiety of the 2 week wait (2ww). It was nice to relax for 30 minutes- I hope this really helps me.

I do bring good news in other areas of my world- My sister-in-law and brother-in-law are going through their first IVF cycle at the same time as our IUI and transfered two embryos and had 5 embryos that were able to be frozen for future use. They are currently in their 2ww as well, and she is suffering from ovarian hyperstimulation still so please keep them in your thoughts and prayers as well.

Also- my sister and future brother-in-law have set a new wedding date… in 42 days! They moved up the date and are making it a small affair with parents and wedding party only- I’m so happy for them and can’t wait… oh, but now I have to work off this excess weight from my downward spiral after my miscarriage in September… I’m thinking about getting a hula-hoop 🙂

I hope all is well with you and yours- I’m working on my fears and tears during this time, and if you are going through a similar situation know you are not alone… I am here with you!

-SeekingShirley

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9 Comments

Filed under Infertility, Miscarriage

9 responses to “Fears and Tears – The 2 Week Wait

  1. Good luck on your 2ww, good for you to get some relaxing treatments during this time.

  2. Kate Bentley

    I am sending you much love and luck for the horrible 2 weeks wait. I remember just after my first IVF , on the transfer day, having to go out and get a pint of milk…I thought I had ruined everything so do not think you are alone in madness – everything worked out though, so I send you a bit of that dust xxxx

  3. Ugh, I’m in my 2WW as well (natural cycle) and this is always agony. Good luck with yours!

  4. The 2WW is terrible. The not knowing and the stressing out over every little move you make or every possible symptom you feel.

    The trick is to stay busy. If you go with bed rest, watch some good movies. If you aren’t going with bed rest, try to do things that will keep your mind occupied. It really does make the time pass faster. A little bit, anyway.

    I wish you (and your SIL) the best of luck in both of your cycles.

  5. Pingback: IUI Round 2 « Seeking Shirley

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